During a recent flight with my wife and two kids (6 & 2.5 yrs of age), I came across one of the most highly irritable woman on the planet. For those of you who have been on a crowded flight that had young kids on board, I’m sure that assumption was such that there would be some level of noise and movement periodically. Right?
Well, I had the privilege of sitting right in front of a woman who did not this assumption. Unfortunate.
All of the huffing, puffing, and squirming were her ways of communicating how frustrated she was with our kids. Normally, I would feel really apologetic, but in this case, I didn’t know where the frustration was coming from. My son was glued to the screen in front of him watching TV while my 2 year old periodically went from my row to the adjacent row to take turns sitting next to me and my wife who was on the other side of the aisle.
Everything came to a climax in the middle of the flight when I stood up with my hand on the headrest of my seat so that I could grab something from the overhead bin. I was leaning slightly on the headrest with my hand when suddenly I felt this violent push from the seat behind me. Yes, you guessed it…the angry lady 
My initial response was one of anger since this had been brewing all flight and all I could think about was my desire to get back at her. Fortunately, I quickly realized that the issue wasn’t us. I began to feel real sorry for this lady for how she got to this place in life where simple points of irritation resulted in such aggressive action.
One thing I know is that anger often needs a host. In other words, my release of anger often lands on someone else. This means that those who are angry (like this lady) probably was the recipient of anger from others in her life. See, the problem was not me, but others in her life that have formed this response in her. It’s unfortunate.
I was also reminded of the fact that I often act like this as well, even with the ones I love the most. It may not be physical aggression, but nevertheless, I am guilty of taking my frustrations from unrelated areas of life and then dumping it on the ones I care about the most. The safety of relationships often deceives me into thinking that it is ok to unload my anger and frustrations on my loved ones.
I walked away from that experience thinking, I never want my life to be so bad that I don’t have enough space in my mind to think about how illogical I am in responding to a situation. Can you relate?
Life isn’t that bad, is it? I hope not. There are so many important things to exert our energies and emotions towards. May anger not be one of them.
Love to hear your thoughts…
Life Scribbles is a blog category I created to jott down quick notes about various topics and personal interests. These notes (including questions) are meant to be short, thought-provoking, relatively open, and purposefully unresolved. I’m hoping that these Life Scribbles will challenge or refine perspectives, create meaningful conversations, and lead to further inquiry about the topics presented.
This post is tagged Anger, Charles Lee, Is Life that Bad?, Life, Life Scribbles
7 Comments
Charles — I love this post! Anger is so common in our culture and, if we don’t stop to check it, infectious. Thanks for the insight in how to handle an all-too-common situation.
Recently, my daughter was being hassled (I won’t say “bullied” because it didn’t get to that level) by another girl in her class, kickstarting every papa-bear instinct inside of me. I went to talk with her teacher about how we could handle this. He told me something that really put things into perspective: in his opinion, this girl was mistreating my daughter because she was being mistreated herself. I could almost feel the hardness inside my heart crack right there.
My daughter’s teacher and I found a way to handle the situation in class (no problems since then), but I walked away with a new, bigger perspective on things.
What is it about planes that brings out the worst in people? I’ve had my share of traveling experiences and found that many times people act out irrationally because they don’t see you as a real person. Everyone is just a seat number via for prime real estate (bin space, aisle seats, emergency row, etc). I find that a little eye contact before or during the flight does wonders for how people behave. It’s like saying, ‘Hello, I see you and know that you see me.” It allows them to see you as a real live human being not just a seat that is leaning into them.
Thanks for the notes guys.
Great example Daniel. You’re blessed to have a teacher who thinks this way. I’m glad your situation was resolved. God seems to do things like that often for us
Marc, that is so true. It’s kind of like the anger drivers on the road express until they actually make eye contact with the other driver(s). Interesting dynamic of making others machines…
I always carry a couple toys with me on flights because I ALWAYS end up sitting in close proximity to families with squirmy kids. So I pass along my toys to the kids for the flight and they have a great time…and the parents are pretty thankful too.
That’s an awesome idea Rachael! Love it!
Charles — I love this post! Anger is so common in our culture and, if we don’t stop to check it, infectious. Thanks for the insight in how to handle an all-too-common situation.
Recently, my daughter was being hassled (I won’t say “bullied” because it didn’t get to that level) by another girl in her class, kickstarting every papa-bear instinct inside of me. I went to talk with her teacher about how we could handle this. He told me something that really put things into perspective: in his opinion, this girl was mistreating my daughter because she was being mistreated herself. I could almost feel the hardness inside my heart crack right there.
My daughter’s teacher and I found a way to handle the situation in class (no problems since then), but I walked away with a new, bigger perspective on things.
Thanks for the note MR! Life has a great way of teaching us those lessons
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