Charles Lee

In a world where customer  is KING, it’s no wonder that many of us have culturally nurtured an unhealthy perspective of entitlement and voicing complaints. Whether it’s a standard, style, or service, it has become commonplace to feel that we have a right to complain if our expectations are not met.

Unfortunately, the same worldview has clearly permeated much of the Church. In addition, the emergence of new media has given incredible voice and influence to the average person, either for good or you know…

Are many of the complaints warranted? Honestly, I think many complaints about the Church are quite legitimate.

BUT… Please keep a few things in mind as you consider broadcasting complaints about the Church…

1. Think Change, Not Compensation
   • In a consumer-based culture, the goals of the complainer are often to (1) be heard and acknowledged by those who have wronged them and (2) receive some kind of compensation (usually, more than the fair amount) for the inconvenience or pain experienced. Rarely, if ever, do consumers think of bettering the business or organization that has wronged them during such interactions. As a result, complaint rarely leads to healthy change. It’s really about compensation, not change.
   • For those in the Church, this must NOT be our worldview. Even if we have legitimate complaints about how things may be run or communicated, our goal should NOT end with airing complaints nor seeking compensation. The difference in the Church is that the organization is not suppose to be primarily a “service”-oriented entity in the same way as a product. The center of the organization is NOT us! It’s actually someone named Jesus…or something like that.
   • Over the past 20+ years of being in church leadership, I’ve heard and participated in many movements that accurately pointed out the inadequacies of the Church. Unfortunately, many of these movements, at the end of day, did not provide an embodied alternative for how things were. Although many paradigms shifted philosophically, most defaulted back to an old methodology and system that created the problems in the first place while others shifted philosophically but did not possess a workable plan or system. A part of the problem was that our focus was centered around complaining for personal compensation from those in charge rather than towards a holistic effort for change.
2. A Rationalization for Paralysis
   • In my experience, it appears to be that those who often complain the most, whether in a company, church, or organization, have a tendency for using the complaint to rationalize away the energy needed for their participation and problem-solving. Whether it’s the language of burn-out, disconnectedness, new passions, transitions, lack of time or resources, etc., at the root of it is the reality that it is easier for us use our dissatisfaction as a reason for paralysis and inactivity than to do something about it. It’s true, complaining exerts a lot less energy and is more enjoyable than actually doing something about a problem. In many ways, there’s a sick kind of excitement in talking trash about someone else.
   • In the context of the Church, this perspective will result in discouragement for leadership, disunity, confusion, lack of motivation and energy, etc. It’s unfortunate that it only takes a few vocal individuals to drain the life out of a group.
   • Although criticism from a distance is tantalizing, please consider (once again) that the Church we highlight faults in is still Christ’s Church; a Church he loves, cherishes, and seeks to work in and through.
3. Difference Between a Freedom of Can and a Freedom of Should
   • I think it’s important in this conversation that we make a clear distinction between the freedom to say what we want and the freedom to say what we ought. Some historians have pointed out that our Constitution’s upholding of freedom of speech was originally instituted to make sure people had freedom to speak what ought to be said. In other words, it implied that freedom was deeply connected with some kind of moral responsibility. In light of the early Pilgrims coming to America to pursue religious freedom, it was important for our early fore-fathers to set in place a constitution that would protect our nation from what happened back in the motherland where unfair restrictions were mandated by the state.
   • In other words, just because we have the freedom and technology to be critical about the inadequacies of the Church, it doesn’t follow from there that we ought to be. Scripture is very clear that in moments of great trials, suffering, or injustice, our tongues can become a great source of evil (James 1-2). I think we must work towards better reframing our conversations, especially those that are overtly loaded with terms that bring baggage along with them.

If you posture remains humble and open, while our goal focuses on mutual change, I think we will be far better off as Church than simply airing our complaints via whatever mediums available. Not to mention, don’t you want to be a part of movement that brings change by identifying and embodying how the Church could be rather than what the Church is not?

Throughout my twenties, I had

This post is tagged Be the Change, Change, Charles Lee, Church, Church Relations, Complaining, Complaint, Ministry