For years, I have been searching for ways to “live a balanced life”. You’ve heard of this… a life that properly balances the various aspects of life including spirituality, personal relationships, physical health (diet and exercise), career, education, social responsibility, parenting, finances, etc. I have read books on the topic, attended seminars, listened to CD’s, and seen DVD’s from some of the greatest motivational speakers (both faith-based and not) in the world.
My Conclusion… Balance is Impossible (for human beings anyway).
Not only do I think this is impossible, but such unrealistic expectations blur our perspective on our human state of existence. In fact, I think living with this type of mirage can be counterproductive or maybe even, destructive.
My two cents about “Balanced Living”:
Life is not about balance, but progression.
- Life is unpredictable and meant to be lived in motion. I think balancing takes away from the natural fluidity and joy of existence. I don’t think our mission in life is to figure it all out and have “all our ducks in a row”. We will miss out on the mysterious beauty of imperfection and imbalance that makes life so colorful. We need to add the colors of life that are dark, tainted, mixed, and in progress..
Balancing one’s life requires too much control; control that no human being has anyway.
- To keep things truly balanced would mean that we would have to keep everything in check including complex relationships and unforeseen life happenings (e.g., sudden life transitions, tragedies, illnesses, etc.). Can you imagine telling your friend, family, and employer to not disrupt your life balance with their problems, needs, and input (even the constructive ones)? Life is not a machine to maintain or control.
Balance may be a projection of insecurity and fear.
- I wonder sometimes if some of us who frequently hold the banner of balance so proudly do so to hide our own insecurities of being human. The projection of an image of balanced living may be our covering mechanism to hide what we really are inside. I think many of us, especially those in places of influence, live life like the Wizard of Oz. Our lives may project togetherness and balance, but we are nothing more than an old man behind a curtain seeking meaning, significance, and communal acceptance as we really are. The fear of being discovered in our true state is too overwhelming to engage.
- Side Note: Can you think of anyone who teaches on the topic that has not experienced imbalance or burnout? Most of the people I am inspired by and look up to on this matter have experienced and confessed their failure with “balance”. Many have also gone into therapy to deal with the pressures of life.
Much more could be said…you’ll have to wait for the book – Anyone want to sponsor my book project? 
Closing Thoughts (Just to Clarify)…
I am NOT implying that our response to this mirage of balance should be live life out whichever way we want. I think the guidelines of moral common sense responsibility should still be in place. We must continue to progress forward.
My hope is that this blog would remove some unnecessary pressures others may put on us regarding balanced living, especially pressures that paralyze us from moving forward while diminishing the beauty of being human.
Look forward to your thoughts!
This post is tagged Balance, Balanced Living
13 Comments
Curious…
1. Why would asserting that a balanced life is impossible lead people to assume the correcting response to be living life “whichever” way we want? I’m not implying that I don’t think it’s a believable assumption.
2. Do you read Paulo Coelho?
3. I’m sure you’ve considered the possibility of redefining the phrase “balanced life” to reflect a more realistic goal. I’d love to [read] what your definition would be. Your (astute!) part about progression gives me the picture of a balance beam under someone, with a fulcrum under it that constantly moves forward, so that the one on it must continuously walk forward to compensate for the imbalance that the Fulcrum is creating (I capitalized Fulcrum in a sudden idea to spiritualize the picture =p)
I agree with you to certain extent about a balance life. I do think in some ways it’s impossible but in other ways it’s necessary. I think of it more as riding a bike.. You have to first learn how to balance on the bike but in order to learn how you have to be in motion. If a person strictly tries to balance without movement they’ll fail and fall for that matter. So without movement in life it is impossible balance and without balance in life it’s impossible to move.
If a person is all about movement or “making it” in this life but does not have balance, they’ll burn out and/or crash. No balance = little or no movement. It’s like the over eager college student who decides that he’s too good for school and decides to go straight into ministry. After 3 years of movement and no balance.. CRASH and burn.. (Story of my life). Or the person whose play 15 hours of video games a day.. That’s a totally imbalanced life.. No movement. because of no balance.
If a person is all about balance but no movement in life I think they will not be able to live to the fullest of life. It’s like a person who tries to get everything in order before actually moving. It’ll never happen. This type person is afraid of taking risks and in some ways are insecure about life.This is like a person wanting to balance on a bike while it’s stationary before moving.. IMPOSSIBLE..
For the most part I do think it is possible to have a balance life, but it’s never a life that is perfectly balanced. It’s like those first 2 feet when you ride a bike. There’s movement as well as balance.. The balance is not perfect (somewhat wobbly) and the movement is not perfect (not fluid). But the more we work at it (moving and balancing) the further along we get in life and the more balance we can become.
Concerning those unpredictable events.. it can just be some gravel on the road or a road block in life that just trips us up.. I think it’s important to just get back on the bike..
The picture said it all Charles. too many time I’m juggling, and miss out “on the mysterious beauty of imperfection and imbalance that makes life so colorful.”
If my major focus is ‘balance’ then I’ll overreact to negative events…. and my flesh will turn to vices to ‘balance’ out a bad day. or using other vices as balances. if it’s ‘following Jesus’, I have to know that He’ll keep me from falling off the path.
Thanks Josh for your input!
1. I just threw in that comment about people taking the other extreme just to cover my bases…:) I figured that some would misunderstand and go the other direction towards self-centered chaos in light of the impossibility perspective.
2. I’ve never read Paulo Coelho although I’ve seen “The Alchemist”. Why do you mention him?
3. I’m still thinking through terminology and imagery. I like the fulcrum metaphor…Wayne Cordeiro sometimes uses it.
Hey Jonathan…well said!
I love your illustration about bike as it relates to motion and balance. I think sometimes people focus on the balancing so much that they don’t move and even consider trying to keep balance as movement itself (which is very minimal at best).
I was trying to emphasize that there is a whole life to be lived while in motion. It would be unfortunate to mistake a level of health with perfection.
Thanks Big John for the note!
I think you imply a great point about perspective. Focusing on the immediate need to balance may take away with the overall process.
I do wonder if Jesus allows the falling off the path (intentionally) to help us appreciate the path…Maybe his goal isn’t necessarily to keep us on the path or maybe the path is where we land when we fall…just some thoughts.
Coelho speaks (at least in the books I’ve read) a lot about following the progression that [God] sets out for us. I can’t speak to The Alchemist movie, but the book was very enlightened on the subject. I do recommend him. The Alchemist is a quick and captivating read, and each reading left me in a spirit of being more sensitive to the leading of [God].
Jonathan, I like the image of the bike also. With everyone’s input, Charles will have no lack of imagery for his book. I also liked that you brought up risk.
To all, not to get the conversation on track, but because I want to be a part of it: Does “the path” refer to the life that God would prefer us to live out?
Great post, Charles.
I agree that the meaning of one’s existence is not found in the pursuit of balance. Rather, I think the life as a human being is about growth (or as you put it, progress). Without getting in to the specifics, I can say with confidence that the moments in my life that were the most out of balance have resulted in the most growth – bringing me in to deeper relationship with my loved ones, my community, and the Most High.
Charles, please write a book. I really appreciate your outlook on things. As for the mirage of an unbalanced life, I really like it. While the idea of having a balanced life is not new, the way you approach it is one taken less. As Christians we are expected to have “all our ducks in a row”, we are expected to have our life in order because we know God. We can know him, but we certainly aren’t God, we can never really have our life in full order. Most of the time we hear about striving for a “balanced life”, but maybe the “chaos” of life is the balance. Who knows, just a thought. I certainly agree with the idea, that if we had everything in order life would be boring. I know as a student who works two jobs, has a full load of school, being expected to be a leader on my campus; if I had that in order it would be boring. I wouldnt have that fun of trying to manage my life. I have enjoyed the hectic lifestyle and now is really the first time I am looking at it as fun and beautiful. It is because of the progression/”unbalance” that I am growing, growing as a christian and as an adult. I like the progression it is fun.
Balance makes me think of compartmentalizing each aspect of our lives into small groups and spending just enough time for each; making sure that we check everything off on our to-do list aka. “the sad realization of what our lives have really become.” A life of endless and futile organization to create an image of perfection, togetherness, and control! Perhaps the answer to putting some order in our lives is centering rather than balancing. Rolling with the punches, taking care of what we need to take care of, making time, not for the sake of perfection, but because our lives call for it? (This idea is clearly underdeveloped… Hehe.) All the while making sure that our foundation stays secure in what’s important, the bigger picture, etc. Just my two cents.
Thanks Collin and Seika for your input!
Both of your thoughts on beauty and imbalance is affirming. Seika, I like the notion of centering…much to consider.
Hey Charles,
Just wanted to say thanks for the support you and the rest of the JustOne gave to RLM, both in being in the background as we prepared and coming down on the day of. The day turned out well and after talking with people, it turns out many were encouraged and impacted.
And I saw y’all packing as I was on stage. Did y’all leave as we came up? If so, good. =P
Hey Paul…
Thanks for inviting us out. I hope the event turned out the way you planned.
In regards to your stage performance, we stayed until you finished. I actually have video
…what to do… hmmm…youtube?
Great work!
Incoming Links
Leave a Reply