I was trying to sneak out earlier tonight around 10pm to go the gym when my five year old son, Jonathan, stopped me in the hallway and asked me where I was going. I quickly responded by saying “it’s none of your business”…just kidding… Actually, I told my son that “daddy had to go exercise for a little while”.
What I thought was a simple answer (primarily, in hopes of shortening a prolonged conversation so late at night), turned into a dialog about exercising at night. My son couldn’t understand [1] why I would go so late at night (I actually had a similar question prior to leaving for a completely different reason.) and [2] the concept of a 24 hour gym. In addition, he was actually concerned that it might not be safe for me to go out. (So sweet). 
After several minutes of explaining my need to exercise (ask my wife) and my promise that I would return promptly, he said that I could go (thanks Jonathan!). He then proceeded to kiss me and told me that he loved me.
What an amazing moment!
On my drive back from the gym, I began to process what I had just experienced earlier this evening. On one hand, I was/am so thankful for these expressive moments of deep love and care from my son. As the MasterCard commercial would say…it’s priceless. On the other hand, I was somewhat saddened with the reality that Jonathan will most likely forget how sweet he was to me tonight when he gets older.
This conversation, like many others before, will one day be forgotten…a lost conversation.
Although I will continue to treasure these moments, Jonathan, to no fault of his own, will most likely lose the feelings and thoughts that surround such intimate engagements. This experience got me thinking about my own relationship with my earthly father as well as the father above…God.
I began to think about what kinds of conversations I had with my own father growing up…a father that I still sense some level of disconnect with. Did we have these kinds of moments? What did he say? What did I say? Was there anything special that we did that was just between us? I’m not sure. I don’t remember.
In the same kind of way, I wonder how many meaningful conversations with God that I have forgotten about. I’m sure he still treasures those moments he has had with us even if we have forgotten on our end. Honestly, all I can recall are some feelings and general thoughts about how I committed my life to follow him…most thoughts have or are fading away as I get older. Nevertheless, I was reminded tonight, through my engagement with my son, that God still remembers and treasures our past with him for what it was…an authentic expression of mutual love…even if we have forgotten.
God’s grace and love are everlasting…good to know.
This post is tagged Conversation with Dad, Conversation with God, Father Son Relationship, Lost Conversations, Making the Most of Every Moment, parenting, Precious moments, Relationship
8 Comments
Some of the most important conversations I’ve had with my Dad were ones in which I think God was speaking through him – times when he told me I was going to accomplish much in life or when he told me how proud he was of me and that he loves me. At the same time, I remember all the careless things I’ve said to my Dad (the product of being a former ungrateful adolescent) and how often I must have said the similar ungrateful things to God through my actions.
Thanks Beth for the note! Sounds like you had some great moments with your dad…you are blessed.
i read this after you told me you thought of me and my relationship with my dad when you wrote this…. i wondered why and after reading i understand. i’ve never thought about those type of experiences that i might of had or love that was felt and lost.
brings great appreciation for moments that we do get to share with loved ones with a feeling of angst for not being able to remember any moments of my own.
well said dan… i’m sure your dad would be proud if he knew how you were doing in life. continue to do well…proud of you friend.
Great post, Charles… very heartfelt and honest.
thanks for the note jackson.
I love how being a father points you to your relationship with God. Sometimes I wonder if that’s a(n intended) primary function of most relationships. I know by being married I’ve come to places in my relationship with God that I never would have otherwise.
What are you doing out so late?? let alone letting your 5-year old stay up until 10? =p
Bahweep-granaweep-ninibong!!!
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